The rivalry of women has no place in Christianity… NONE

Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer in “The Women”, 1939 | MATTHEW'S ...

Here are some personal experiences I have had with rivalry.

I was called into my supervisor’s office. It was possibly the oddest conversation I had ever had in an office. I don’t remember it word for word but the broad strokes were; I had been hired because my boss had thought that I would not be a threat to her. She hired me because something in my interview made her think I was… inept?, or lacked ambition?, or I don’t know what but she was now reprimanding me for what… doing my job well? It was confusing but clearly I was not performing to her expectations of me which obviously were low.

I saw a business card at the local art store advertising calligraphy lessons. After meeting with the woman and signing up for classes, she emailed me and wanted a guarantee in writing that I would not enter in to a calligraphy business locally so that she would not have additional competition. I live in a city of almost 1 million people and she was concerned I would cut into her business?

Every female boss I ever worked for was an evil, competitive harpy. Just the worse sort of people.

A gal I worked with and considered a friend made something tasty for a potluck at work. I asked her for the recipe and instead of politely telling me she didn’t share her recipe she told me wrong ingredients and omitted ingredients. Why do women do this? Either make something from a recipe off of a well known website or buy something from the store. You are NOT a recipe.

Did you know that in the original Grimm’s fairy tales the stories were about mothers and daughters, not step-mothers and step-daughters?

The worst sort of jealousy is of that which exists between mothers and their daughters, and mothers and their son’s girlfriends and/or wives.

Ladies, it is time we grew up and became Titus women!

It greatly grieves the Lord when we behave so very badly. When we are deceitful, hateful, spiteful, jealous, envious, greedy about our image, greedy about our children, we have fallen into pride and idolatry. Pride of ourselves, idolatry of our children. I see this SO much with women who have male children. ‘No woman is good enough for my son!’. Yes, yes she is. There is a terrifying but excellent example of this in C.S. Lewis’ book, The Great Divorce. In it, we meet a woman whose son did not make it to heaven. She was so devastated by this that she ended up leaving heaven to be in hell with him. She loved him more than she loved God. Is this you? If you love something, or someone more than God you are in idolatry. You cannot justify this behavior by declaring no one but a parent could understand this kind of love! Well, God has that kind of love for us, for His Son… HIS SON whom He sent down to die for us and you can’t let go of your child so that he/she can live their life? You had your life. Now let your children have theirs.

If you are a woman who works outside your home, or even in it and you have an assistant you treat poorly, or employees you torment all in the name of being successful, you are in idolatry to your job. It would be better to quit that job if you cannot change than to keep it and risk your soul. THAT is what Matt 18:8-10 is about. Your pride in yourself is causing you to sin against others because if you were humble, and saw other people as icons of Christ (made in His image), you would NEVER treat them so poorly. You have elevated your career above humanity & the teachings of Christ. That is idolatry.

Ladies, stop aligning your identity with the world.

If you have bumper stickers bragging about your children, go scrape them off. If you have a ‘status car’ earned by money you made exploiting other people, go replace it with something more humble. Stop living for this world and start living for the next!

The whole purpose of living a Christian life is to prepare; ourselves, our spouses, and our children to spend an eternity with Christ. Nothing. else. matters!!

So much emphasis is placed on the Proverbs 31 woman. Let’s focus more on the Titus 2 woman.

Let’s shift gears and run THIS race set before us and not the ‘rat race’.

More posts about this to follow.


  1. This is a very powerful post, and so true. I thank you for posting this. All women can learn from this, and men can also learn from the subtle , and sometimes obvious competition and nastiness between women.
    As an older woman now, I have the opportunity to be a mother-in-love.
    The position of mother-in-law is an important one!
    We should never place our sons in the position of having to ‘play referree’ between their wives and their mother.
    I was blessed to have a mother-in-law, Ruth, who was a godly woman and was consistently loving and supportive.
    I told her many times that I felt about her the way Ruth loved Naomi in the Bible.
    Today I am going to focus on reading Titus 2.
    Thanks again for this insightful post. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. MelissaBishop says:

      You are so very welcome, Sally. My husband’s parents had passed away before I came along. My insights come from observations I have made of the relationships of those around me. We have so many opportunities to love each other but we allow too much to get in our way. I hope your DIL passes on what she has learned from you to any children she has. We can pass on love and healthy relationships but we must be willing to be the humble ones. Looks like you’re being a living example!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s kind of you to say. Yes, Melissa, let us pray for the grace to have godly and fulfilling relationships. Thanks ! 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

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